His Eyes
by OtterPotter
Summary: I worked hard to get as much voice as I could as I said, "I'm holding on, Billy. Save me. I don't have much left." Penny/Billy.
1. Chapter 1

_Penny's POV_

This was what pain felt like.

-

I had experienced my fair share of it, but never on this level.

-

There were pieces of metal in my chest, I realized vaguely, as I struggled to breathe. That was where the sharpness was coming from. Oh.

-

When I had been sitting up on stage, listening to Captain Hammer singing his ridiculous song, I thought that I was going to die of embarrassment. Was it irony that I was dying now? That was what was happening, I decided. I could feel myself slipping, consciousness fading. What was there really to hang on to anyway though?

Then I saw him. The stranger that, just a few moments ago, was parading around wielding a death ray and causing chaos in a white lab coat. When I had first seen him, heard him, I had frozen. I was drawn to him, drawn to the inevitable familiarity of him. Then he said my name, he had said my nickname for him, and I knew.

He bent down in front of me now, saying my name and repeating the word no over and over. My eyes met his, and my heart broke at the overwhelming sadness in them, and I realized I had made a huge mistake. Then, something odd happened.

They say when you are about to die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. Instead, the life I could have had flashed in front of mine.

Leaning in all the way to kiss him at the Coin Wash, realizing he saved me from the van, never dating Captain Hammer, love in his eyes, a gold band, a child with red hair and slivery blue eyes, all of the what ifs and should have beens, right there in front of me.

My eyes refocused and looked straight into his again, recognizing for the first time the look that I saw there. Forgetting Hammer, forgetting that he was a villain, nothing else mattered but the things that I had saw.

I worked hard to get as much voice as I could as I said, "I'm holding on, Billy. Save me. I don't have much left."

And my Billy, my dear Billy Buddy, nodded, with tears clearly running his face.

**Loved it? Liked it? Hated it? Review! Review and I'll try to get my friend to spare your lives when he takes over the world in 2012. More to come.**

**~OtterPotter**


	2. Chapter 2

**I know I promised this earlier- and I really have no excuse for why I haven't updated yet, save for the huge amount of homework that I have received in this past week, the terrible days that I have had, and the fact that I was addicted to watching Merlin and playing Dragon Age. In other words I have no legitimate excuse, and for that I apologize. A myriad of thanks to those of you who have reviewed, alerted, or favorited, you guys are the frozen yogurt of my fanfiction heart. **

**Disclaimer- Joss is boss.**

Penny was bleeding.

Penny was bleeding and it was my fault.

That sentence probably could have continued, adding on true statements until the misfortune of it all took over me.

And I had absolutely no idea what to do.

I had no clue how to save her, how to fix this, how to stop thinking these thoughts that were clearly wasting time that I could not afford to lose.

The look on her face, however, was enough to keep me from giving up. If I do nothing else in my life, please let me save her.

My hands were covered in blood, her blood. I pressed the wounds, trying with my every might to stop the bleeding.

"Call a doctor, 911, anyone!" I pleaded to the few left in the room, those who were obviously surprised to see this man, who had just a few moments ago been shouting about burning and no mercy, struggling to save a woman on the floor who was seemingly inconsequential. No living thing on this planet had ever been so wrong.

These people would not, did not, know the woman that had saved them, that had strived to provide help for them, if (when, really) she lay dying in front of them. But I was not going to let that happen.

Throwing all caution to the wind I did something reckless without thinking about any repercussions whatsoever. If it saved her it would be worth it. If anything saved her it would be worth it.

I yelled for some random bystander to keep pressure on the wound and I ran as though my life depended on it. Because in all honesty, my life did depend on it.

**So once again I apologize, this time for giving you this pathetic excuse of a chapter. It will get longer, but considering that state that I'm in right now, it's impressive that I managed this at all without killing all of the characters. More to come sooner. Please review- I am in desperate need of frozen yogurt!** **-OtterPotter**


	3. Chapter 3: In which Dr Horrible is lost

**It's been awhile hasn't it? I'm sorry for that… I would state my excuses but none of them would really cover my negligence. So I sincerely apologize for not updating sooner. A sincere thank you goes to everyone who reviewed. I've been trying really hard to think of where to go with this chapter. I had a few ideas, some of which I had seen before. One of the reasons why it has taken me such a long time to update is because I was trying to come up with something that was more original. In the end though I settled on using something that I believe someone had suggested to me in a review. All the credit for this idea that was given to me goes to the person who suggested it and anyone else who had done it before me. I'm sorry I had to borrow it and I promise that it will not be in the plot more than is absolutely necessary. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it I would be writing more instead of… (Wait; does anyone even know what Joss Whedon is working on now?)**

I didn't have to run far. The freeze ray, my freeze ray, was right where I had left it. Quickly I grabbed it and ran back to Penny. The woman that had been keeping pressure on the wound moved out of my way instinctively. As soon as she moved I fired the freeze ray at Penny.

_We'll make time stand still…_

This was not how I had imagined…anything. I counted seconds before I heard the tell-tale sign of an ambulance: the blaring siren. Earsplitting noise could never be more comforting. A little belatedly I realized that I was the villain still. No matter what I could say it would be hard to convince any authority figure that I did not _intentionally_ harm Penny. Even more so would it be to convince them that I was trying to save her. A new sort of panic raced through me. What if they won't let me see her, or come with? Even worse, what if they didn't try to save her for fear of an evil plot on my part? Were they really that afraid? Or that petty?

"I'll help her."

"What?" I managed to say, shocked out of my panicked state. The woman who had been holding pressure on the wounds spoke again.

"I'll make sure the paramedics do what they can to save her. They might not if they know you're involved." She said.

"Why?" I questioned, suspicious, "Why help me?"

"I'm not helping you, I'm helping her. For whatever reason she trusted you to help her, and you did what you could. But it is going to get a lot more complicated for everyone if you stick around. Go make yourself look normal and if you get back in time you can meet me at the ambulance. Hurry, there isn't much time." She said urgently, talking very quickly.

I made a split-second decision and then nodded, running towards the bathroom. A nagging thought in the back of my head told me that I should be more distrustful of the woman, but I shook it off. It was Penny's only chance now. Besides, if something goes wrong there are plenty of ways of insuring that someone doesn't do something like that ever again. I discarded my lab coat and goggles, thankful that I had put on street clothes under my disguise for once. As I ran out of the bathroom and outside of the shelter I spotted the ambulance. I ran towards it without looking back.

* * *

"They've taken her in for an immediate operation," an aging, stuffy doctor informed us, "you can wait here in the waiting area until she is done, or until we have more news. I must warn you though that the outcome of this operation still looks bleak, even with the extra time given to her by the freeze ray. Do you have any idea why this 'Dr. Horrible' shot her with his freeze ray, Ms. —" he trailed off.

"Just call me Roxanne," the woman to my left remarked, "and I didn't see him do it myself. I don't have any idea why he would do such a thing." Roxanne, the woman who had helped me earlier, gave me a pointed look that was misinterpreted by the doctor.

"Do you know why he did it?" the man asked me.

"He didn't. I did. I saw the freeze ray laying there and, remembering what it had done to Captain Hammer earlier, thought that it could be my only chance of helping Penny." I told him.

"It was very lucky that it was the actual freeze ray and not some other gun," the doctor said, "that would have been unfortunate." Unfortunate, I felt, was an understatement to describe this whole predicament. Even tragic seemed too light a term. Luckily this last statement seemed to end all of his questions, and the buzz of his pager took him out of the room with a quick promise to be back with more news.

"I'm going to go find a bathroom," Roxanne announced, "I'll be right back."

I nodded, not even wanting to take the effort to speak.

After she left I started to study the waiting area we had been left in, reduced to doing anything to keep my mind busy and away from the cold grasp of fear that held tight to my whole being. It had beige colored walls and many paintings depicting fruit, as well as furnishings that were too practical to be comfortable. Overall, it was sterile and cold making an attempt to be comfortable and warm. The effect was marred by the scattered handful of anxious, shocked, teary-eyed, or panic stricken people. I placed myself in that category.

This did not keep my attention for long. I stared down at my hands, for the first time realizing that I had dried blood on them. Her blood. Her blood was on my hands. My lab coat must be ruined. Where was it anyway? I had left it, I realized. It was at the shelter, along with my freeze ray and my goggles. _The_ lab coat, I amended, was at the shelter with _the_ freeze ray and _the _goggles. Surprisingly, I did not want to claim ownership of them. They had caused her pain; they may well be the cause of her death. Unknowingly I had left Dr. Horrible behind. There was no doubt that they were confiscated, and I definitely had run out of chances with the League.

Vaguely I noticed my world crash and burn at my feet. Who was I now? Dr. Horrible was my identity; he was my purpose, my solution. In my frantic attempts to save Penny I had lost him. Resent was not what I was feeling, only an emptiness that seemed to engulf me. I had lost Dr. Horrible already, if I lost Penny now there would be nothing left. Only a void, empty shell of a man. But if I lost Penny and still had Dr. Horrible, Billy would be gone. Why would that matter though? Billy was a joke, a dork, a failure. _Not to her…_Penny had trusted Billy. Penny had asked Billy to save her. That had to mean something. Maybe I have the wrong perspective on this. Maybe Billy is good enough.

My thoughts were interrupted when Roxanne returned. Taking a seat next to me she looked at me for a moment.

"I never got your name. Who are you? What can I call you?" she asked, seeming to know that they were two different questions. I had a feeling I was being tested; I thought I had spelled out quite clear who I was at the shelter. Well, who I was then.

"I'm Billy," I decided.

"Billy, you should probably wash your hands." Roxanne suggested, not unkindly.

Confused, I looked down at them.

"Oh, uh, right. I'll be back then." I told her.

Blood ran through the water, making the artificial-smelling soap turn pink. I watched as it took its inevitable path towards the drain in the sink. This sight was familiar, but I had never had to wash away someone else's blood before. It had always been mine. I definitely didn't like the feeling that it was hers.

Time must be passing, I thought as I was back in the waiting room. The digital numbers changed on the clock at an abnormally slow pace. Roxanne had left briefly to get something to eat, and had returned with two sandwiches, handing one to me. For the next elongated fifteen minutes I chewed on the sandwich without tasting anything. I made it about halfway through it before I stopped. Roxanne looked concerned but didn't say anything. I wasn't sure if I would have been able to respond.

Agonizing. That was an adequate description of the wait. I realized I had been searching for one in my head.

A man started to walk towards us, and it wasn't until he spoke that I recognized him and my brain comprehended the implications of the white uniform.

"… seems to be stable, although in a coma. We aren't sure if that is a side effect of the freeze ray or just her body responding to all of her recent trauma. You can go and see her now if you like, although you won't get much of a response out of her." The doctor said.

As we followed him to the room I felt a surge of relief run through me. She was alive! The relief mellowed quickly though. She was alive… and in a coma.

When we reached the room the doctor notified us that there would be a nurse in to check on Penny every five minutes or so, depending on Penny's physical state. Roxanne responded to him while I walked into the room.

There she was in the center of the room on the hospital bed, so pale and fragile. My heart ached terribly to see her like that. With her eyes closed, somehow she managed to look peaceful. It was almost disturbing; it looked too unreal. I walked over to her and held her hand, irrationally hoping that the touch would wake her. It didn't.

Roxanne walked over to me in contemplative silence. After a few moments she spoke.

"I guess I'm going to… go now," she said, walking towards the door.

"Roxanne, wait." I said. She turned. "Thank you for…everything."

"You're welcome," she replied, and walked out the door, leaving just me and the unconscious Penny.

Please wake up, I thought. I did my best. Now you have to help me.

**And I do realize that he was referring to himself in third person. I'll be willing to explain it to anyone who didn't understand. Once again my utmost gratitude to those who reviewed and stuck with me even though I disappeared for awhile. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you. Please review and tell me what you think.- OtterPotter**


	4. Chapter 4

It had been two days.

Two painfully, excruciatingly long days.

Time dragged on, and I felt as if I was wading through some kind of nightmare. I barely ate, I barely slept, and it had come to the point where I almost had to be physically dragged out of the hospital room by one of the nurses. In a way I almost felt as if I was in a coma as well; stuck in some strange, transitory state. I felt like a madman. I was a madman. Everything I had ever known had crumpled before me and Penny was the one last thread of anything that made any sense to me. I was completely lost.

Sitting there beside her hospital bed, I drowned in a torrent of emotions. Guilt, fear, anxiety, anger, exhaustion, depression. This was my doing. Hammer may have pulled the trigger, but I had created the weapon.

Bleary eyed and exhausted, my eyes traced Penny's face over and over. Why hadn't I listened to her? Why hadn't I protected her? I had prepared myself for causalities but I couldn't stomach this one. The one thing that truly was important. The one thing that I never deserved. The thing that I had thought I was fighting for to begin with. I let out a quiet, bitter laugh.

It was always going to end this way. Always. There was no point in delusions anymore. Why had I thought that I was going to succeed? After a lifetime of failures, I should have seen this coming from miles away. But then, the cost of my failures had never been so high.

This was not what I had been fighting for. This was not what I had been striving for. The world was a mess—and I was going to shake things up just enough so that I could change it. Fix it. What other way was there to fix corruption than to get rid of the source? But the consequences…this beautiful, caring, wonderful person who practically embodied what humanity should be like, the endgame I didn't really even know I was striving for…I had doomed my own plan before it had really even started.

What was I doing? What was I thinking? My thoughts were becoming waves of incoherent existential garble and the only thing I really could grasp anymore was that I have absolutely no idea who I want to be anymore. Years of building my self identity and suddenly it had crashed down to my feet.

I shook my head, trying to focus back on Penny again. It was fair too quiet and my thoughts were running wild.

I loved her.

That was all I knew.

I needed…

"Billy?"

It was a hoarse yet somehow delicate sound. Her eyes were open. They held my gaze. I must be dreaming again. My whole body tensed as I blinked once. Twice. Three times.

"Penny?" I whispered, wondering why I hadn't woken up yet. My voice, my body, trembled. My hand shook as I reached for her, wanting tangible proof that my mind was not betraying me. Gently, cautiously, I tucked a strand of her copper red hair behind her ear. Relief ripped through me, so powerful that I thought I might collapse, my whole body deflating. "Oh Penny, I am so sorry."

"You saved me," she breathed, eyes fluttering before drifting closed again.


End file.
